these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize