I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
