I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
