I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
