Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
