Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize