yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
