Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
