Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
