i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
