i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need moral support for this bender
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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