Need sex. Gaining weight.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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