His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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