Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
