I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think your dad took our porno
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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