Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
