i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
