idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
