what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
