i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
