It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
