remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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