5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
