Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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