i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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