We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i've created a new STD.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
