you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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