i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize