Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
