Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
