no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So vagazzling was a success
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
