I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
