she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
