You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
