and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
bring money and cleavage
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
