some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
