Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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