he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
