I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
