the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize