He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
