Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize