I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
