I'm going to jail i love you
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
