I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
