it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize