i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
