so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize