Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
