No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize