Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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