You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
