Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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