I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize