i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
