I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
