when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
