we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
