why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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