Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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