I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize