What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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