It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize