Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
