we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
