I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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